The Supermarket From Hell

I've been grocery shopping for fifty years,
and I usually manage it well,
but last week I shopped, let me fill your ears
at the supermarket from hell.

There was just one trolley left on the rank,
and I took it with grim foreboding,
for I knew quite well, and I'll be frank
I would have some trouble loading.

At the very first push, my fears were confirmed,
as the left front wheel started fluttering,
and the one on the right was sideways turned,
which caused me to do some muttering.

I straightened the wheels, and pushed again,
and sideways on went the trolley,
but I persevered in spite of my pain,
I would finish my shopping, by golly!

Well, we rolled and we stopped, and we jerked about,
evading the mothers with kiddies,
as I tried to dodge an old cove with the gout,
and several cranky old biddies.

Of the shopping I did I'll keep to myself
just the usual little disasters,
like reaching for jars on the highest shelf,
and spilling a box of corn plasters.

I dropped a soup can right on my big toe,
and bumped a display which went crashing
(I was checking the new male attendant you know
my word, he really was smashing!)

Well, despite all the problems I met on the way,
the checkout I finally gained,
and of course, you've guessed, it was pension day
and I wished that day I'd abstained

from shopping at all - well, the woman ahead
had a trolley heaped up to the limit,
and the girl on the check out appeared brain-dead!
She was so flamin' slow it was grim - it

Took most of an hour to ring up the cost
and that was without any packing,
Then they stood, those two, while my patience I lost,
and listened to all of their yakking.

At last I requested, polite as can be,
some service, and got a hard glare.
Then the girl on the checkout deliberately
changed the roll of paper - I swear

She did it on purpose - it took her an age,
to check out my goods that day,
and the very first item almost made me rage
when the bar code refused to display.

Well, they sent off a lad, to see if he could
find another whose bar code would ring
the bells on the register - I stood and I stood,
till I could have made the damn thing

Aand the line behind me it grew and it grew,
while the women had started to mutter,
and one asked me if she could please go through,
she had only this one pack of butter!

I had almost got through, one more item to go,
when the power went off in the store,
and as if that wasn't enough of a woe,
it sealed up the electric door!

What happened, you ask? Well the bus I missed,
and I'll never go back, you can tell.
I'll send out the hubby, with his little list
to the supermarket from hell!

Copyright; Patricia Markey
Email: pdmarkey@bigpond.com