Introduction

HEY! you like military poems? well here's one for you! you can check out more of my funny work on my companies website http://www.ahajokes.com and http://www.bored.com/jokes

Who? US airforce & Santa along with his 8 reindeers

What? A US warning system goes wrong and proves santa as a hostile unit.

How? Santa got shot down by US airforce planes.( Be proud my fellow Americans, our airforce can even shoot down santa)

When? the night before christmas

Where? North Michigan

Why? Santa was shot down due to a miscalulation in the warning systems. He was recognized as a hostile fighter with 8 reindeer escorts.

Twas the night before christmas in USA

Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the skies,
Air defenses were up, with electronic eyes.
Combat pilots were nestled in ready-room beds,
As enemy silhouettes danced in their heads.

Every jet on the apron, each SAM in its tube,
was triply redundant, linked to the Blue Cube.
ELINT and AWACS gave coverage so dense
that nothing that flew could slip through our defense.
When out of the klaxon arose such a clatter
I dashed to the screen to see what was the matter;
I increased the gain and then, quick as a flash,
Fine adjusted the filters to damp out the hash.

And there found the source of the warning we'd heeded
an incoming blip, by eight escorts preceded.
"Alert status red!" went the word down the wire,
As we gave every system the codes that meant "FIRE!"

On Aegis! Up Patriot, Phalanx and Hawk,
And scramble our fighters--let's send the whole flock.
Launch decoys and missiles, use chaff by the yard!
Get the kitchen sink up! Call the National Guard!

They turned toward the target, moved toward it, converged.
Till the tracks on the radar all finally merged,
And the sky was lit up with a demonic light,
As the foe met his fate in the high arctic night.

So we sent out some reconnaissance to look for debris,
Yet all that they found, both on land and on sea
Were some toys, a red hat, a charred left leather boot,
Broken sleigh bells, white hair, and a deer's parachute.

Now it isn't quite Christmas, with Saint Nick shot down.
There are unhappy kids in each village and town.
For the Spirit of Christmas can't hope to evade
All the web of defenses we've carefully made.

But a crash program's on: Working hard, night and day,
All the elves are constructing a radar-proof sleigh.
So let's wait for next Christmas, in cheer and in health,
For the future has hope: Santa's coming by stealth!

Copyright; Michael Raff
Web Site: http://www.bored.com