Introduction

Ah'm nae scots. An' ah canna speak scottish. An' ah wouldnae know the gaelic frae an onion. I reckon the scots would probably have me tagged as a scotch wallah after reading this. I don't care. I reckon it'd go down well, even at the Glasgow Empire, cos it relates to a time when they didn't so much make bagpipes as catch 'em.

Type O' Pype Dirge

As Ah took the wynd frae Twassach Toon,
On the way tae Gevet Beck,
One lonely night,
Near Wassis Height,
Ah hear'd a mournful skreek.

Ah hear'd a fearful keenin'
Whaft an' whasper thrae the glen
Like the piped Last Post
Frae a long dead ghost
T'was nae earthly sound Ah' ken.

Then frae afar Ah spied it:
The piper o' that terrible tune.
T'was the colour o' a kilt,
Like an egg on stilts
Cut sharp ag'in the moon.

It stood side-on in profile.
Ah saw its hooter clear.
Ah could hae sworn it
Was shaped like a cornet.
Twas the the long-lost Hamish Ah fear.

Twas nae less than the Phantom Hamish
Amournin' on that rock
In a shrill he cried
Fer his hamish bride
In the pullin' o' his weird pi'broch

Wi' a heart near burst tae ruction
His pi'broch lilted low
Then his feathers ruffled
An' his hooter snuffled
As he kenned o' long ago.

Kenned o' a time he was happy,
An' livin' wi' his hamish wife;
O that love-duet
When they verra first met--
An' then he kenned o' how she lost her life..

Kenned o' the bagpipe-hunters:
Who prized Hamish skins at the time.
O' the well-aimed spear:
Where it hit his dear.
What he keeked o' the swine an' the crime.

Kenned o' where they stuck the mouth-piece
When a-fashionin' bagpipes, then
Then wi' a heart-fealt skirl
Fer his hamish girl
He pulled his pi'broch again.

Copyright; sterl'
Email: sterlz-web@blueyonder.co.uk
Web Site: http://www.sterlz-web.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk