This poem was written after spending a couple of hours in the pub (that's how it usually works) whilst the TV series
'Baywatch' was showing on the bar TV. One patron, a very vocal middle-aged sales rep, turned primal every time a bikini-clad female appeared on the screen. This poem was written for the millions of men who react wildly at the sight of mammary glands.
If women had udders
and cows had breasts
what would be shown in The Sun?
Would it be Daisy
Would it be Sharon
the Croydon belle
With udder attached to her sternum?
She'd have admiring bullocks
though four-teated Sharon'd spurn 'em.
Would Farmer's Monthly
become a jazz mag
top shelf stuff not for sale to the nippers?
Would Playboy become
a rattling good read for sheep dippers?
for lactiferous glands
raises questions I believe worth pursuing.
Who was the first man
to milk a
and what did he think he was doing?
Copyright; Stephen Cree 2001
Web Site: http://whyfronts.tripod.com/stupidpoetry