Wrap
me in chains. Clad me in leather
Run the lawnmower over my hair
Beat me as I do the dishes
With the whipper-snipper!
Tie me up with the sheets to the bed
Smother me with a pillow
Cut me with knives and forks
Drag me across the lounge-room floor
By my hair as I suck up the dirt
With the vacuum cleaner
Pin me to the wall with your Toyota
Steal MY T.V. remote
Let me hear the sound of one hand slapping
Drink your beer while we make love
But just DON'T call me fat.
