Funny Poems

Your Shout

God, I love alcohol. Every Friday night,
Me and the boys hit the town,
And drink 'em up till we fall down.
God, I love alcohol, I swill it on my gums,
It seems to soothe the pain inside,
It always makes me numb.

God, I love alcohol. I love it at the cricket,
I see the game from through the glass,
And seldom see the wicket.

God, I love alcohol. (hic) It helps reduce my stresses,
My voice gets strong, my muscles pump,
I move so fast I'm legless.

God, I love alcohol. First thing in the morning,
Y'know a beer or two for brekky,
Always stops me yawning.

Me missus always looks slimmer,
And the kids don't seem as loud,
Cos everything gets dimmer.

God, I love alcohol. It helps me make decisions,
Like, (hic) I think I'll have another beer,
To help my wavering visions.

God, I love alcohol. Gin or rum or whiskey,
Doesn't matter which I choose,
It always makes me frisky.

God, I love alcohol. It makes me feel so strong,
Cos when I've got a gutfull,
I know I'm never wrong.

Y'know, I love it with a passion.
After a few I wanna fight,
I really wanna smash 'em.

God, I love alcohol. Especially when I'm pissed,
I try to grab meself a sheila
Cos they always wanna be kissed.

God, I love alcohol. It helps me stay in balance,
Sure, (hic) I wobble once or twice,
It's in keeping with the parlance.

God, I love alcohol, I could never go without.
And underneath I bet you're the same.
In fact, mate, it's your bloody shout!!

Copyright; Mark Both