Top Ten Poems
Of The Month!

The following ten poems are the best for the month as chosen by our 'Poets Panel'.

Note: the poems are listed in no particular order!

I was booked to have a mammogram, on a bus that comes around. I waited ten minutes at the stop outside the football ground....

I heard about an older, widowed lady. This energetic woman loved to dance but underneath her rapture something shady had sought the Doctor, such was circumstance.

Oh I wish I had boobs that would wobble Mine just stay still in one place In the breast hall of fame You won't see my name For my boobs there would be a disgrace ...

The early days of wedded bliss held passion wild, untamed...

Having been a keen bush cook for many a long day when camped out up in the mountains or wherever the swag may be rolled, it was proba-bly almost inevitable that a poem would be written about that most wondrous of Aussie tucker, the damper.

He's bought himself a set of drums - Seems that's the latest fad For them with teenage craniums Just to annoy their Dad....

I want to go to Scotland I want to find a man with hairy legs and chest and face no blond, blue eyes and tan with muscles on his muscles a strapping kind of lad with kilt and great big sporran that would make me glad! ....

Sweeney was a barber In Fleet Street near the Strand Cocksure was his nature And Cockney was his brand.....

Mulligan's missus was big, fat and mean A cruel and ugly man-killing machine She's the type of woman you'd be looking for If you wanted mercenaries for a guerilla war

Many, many years ago When I was twenty-three I got married to a widow Pretty as could be.